President Trump's sons Eric and Don Jr. today announced plans for the Trump Wall Hotel and Casino, to be built along the entire US/Mexico border. "We felt that Dad was in a tough spot and we should do what we could to bail him out," explained Don Jr. "This is a win-win for everyone: the Wall gets built, the government reopens, and our investors have a stellar business opportunity."

"We'll have the world's longest baccarat table," Eric chimed in. "Two thousand miles!"

Don Jr. stressed the business advantages. "On the border, we're not subject to state or local gambling restrictions or smoking laws," he said.

"And the best part is, we'll have the lowest labor costs in the industry. All the service entrances are in the back."